Tuesday, February 26, 2013


Patience.....that's a hard one! That's exactly how I feel....not in control. I'm an only child, the oldest grandchild by 4 years....I am used to getting what I want when I want it. Dominic has kept that going in our relationship as well. Then I get this crazy hair-brain idea that I want to be in a D/s or TTWD relationship. I tell D and he's all for it....."Sure babe, let's do it"
So what's the problem? Why is this not happening? Yea Yea I know.....patience! I need to let him do this at his pace. Why is patience so hard?? Why is waiting so hard???

That was really hard to read, the reality of it! But I know he is willing and he wants to try so I'm not giving up! I know this will happen down the road and I am going to wait, and wait, and wait until he's ready! (as if I had any other choice....I am on his time)
OK I need to read this one over and over and over again! (I tend to be a smartass at times). I think I have a good attitude, maybe you should ask D. We haven't been fighting but we also haven't been talking, well at least not about this. I guess right now life is getting in the way and we need to let everything settle down a little bit. A lot of new things are happening in our lives and I guess his focus is on that. That's ok, I'm glad that he's focused on that!

This is how I really feel!!!! LOL Gawd I hate waiting. I guess if this "journey" teaches me anything it will definately be patience! I just hope that the grass is greener on the other side!

Someone told me that their beginning of the journey was long and they had to be patient and wait for Him to take the lead. In the meantime she worked on herself and how to be submissive. I didn't even think of that....all I keep focusing on his Him and what he needs to do, huh like I"m so perfect ( :/ *blushes*)  I guess I need to start working on me and figuring out my role in this relationship.

Anyone have any ideas for me? Where do I begin? How do I become more submissive? Even if he's not playing the "dominant" role yet? Well, I'm off to read some of your blogs and see if I can get some answers. Thank you and I love that I can count on your blog and your journey to help in mine. Blogland rocks!

Subrina <3


  1. So you want to be more submissive?

    (that's a joke, kind of)

    Here's the thing: submitting is really easy. It's realizing what submitting is that's hard. So maybe you want to be dragged off by your hair into the cave and have horribly wonderful physical sensations visited upon you "against your will." But if he doesn't want that, it's not submitting when you "let" him.

    It may be hot, you both may wind up enjoying it, and there's nothing WRONG with doing it that way - he sees you'd like it and he does it. But it's not submitting.

    Submitting is seeing what he wants and then doing that. So - say the dragging you off by your hair scenario doesn't work for him - but tying you up, that does.

    But beyond that, it's just... submitting. When he asks for something, you do it. You do little things because you know he'd like them.

    I bought a white nightie and dyed it blue because that's his favorite color (it wasn't available in blue).

    He mentions he doesn't really care for a particular restaurant - I never suggest we go there again.

    He's nervous before a big presentation. I text him that he's got it, minutes before he's going to walk onto the stage.

    Sometimes it's hard to see the difference between submitting and just being a good spouse. :) I strive to be an excellent wife at all times - I like to think mostly I succeed.

  2. Hi Conina!
    Thank you for your comment. I didn't realize what submitting is, still not exactly sure. But what you said made a lot of sense. I'd like to think I'm a good wife, but I guess you would have to ask D that. I always tell him that I'm hard to love, that I don't deserve him, and that I definately got the better end of the deal! He doesnt agree with me, but that's how I feel.
    I think one of the biggest things is to do things for HIM, becuase he wants/asks me too. I have been trying but I think I need to make more of an effort. Thanks again for the feedback! I appreciate your honesty!!

  3. I agree with Conina. So much of it is in the mindset and attitude with which you approach this. You can submit and be submissive for and towards him without him outwardly being Dominant. You can try to find your submissive place for him and begin acting accordingly on a daily basis. It's a way of being and doing things...not just giving him his way when he takes charge. Working on yourself is a good idea. And the more you do it naturally day in and day out, the easier it will be for him to assume his Dominant role with you. So, you don't have to wait on him. Be his submissive all the time, or at least strive for that. It's a good start.


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