Crying.......Why?

Yesterday D and I chaperoned our middle sons high school to their drum line competition. These are looooong days (12+ hours) and we always have a lot of down time. After our sons school performed, the trailer was loaded and everyone had eaten, we had about 4 hours until awards. D and I wondered around looking at stuff and talking. Our conversation was heading towards this journey we are taking! YAY!!

We talked for a looong time and were both very open and honest with each other. For the first time he really opened up and told me what he thought of this whole thing. He is excited for where we are heading and thinks that this is not only going to help us in our personal relationship but also in our regular lives. I can't even tell you how happy and excited I was to be having this conversation and hearing the things that he was saying.

He shared with me some of the things that he has read and what he took from that. He said that he learns A LOT from my own blog, which I found kinda funny. But I guess it makes sense, and I was kinda glad that he was reading it. But all in all he is ready to continue this and really thinks this will work. He wants to make it work, and not just because I want him to...he wants to do this too!!! BUT...he wants to do this at his own pace and take things slow. Yea I know....patience! OK OK  I got it...but to me this was HUGE and I couldn't have been happier, I will be patient!

Because of work and just life happening we haven't really had a chance to have sex or be alone with each other. So we talked about it and decided when we got home, if we weren't too tired, tonight was going to be the night! WOO HOO!!!!! But Awards weren't until 9:00 (BTW they took 7th out of 18 and brought their score up 2 points!!!!!!) and then we had about an hour drive home. Once we got back to the school the trailer had to be unloaded and then of course we had kids to drop off. It wasn't lookin too good but I had hope!

So your probably wondering what the picture above is about? Your probably thinking that our night alone was not to be? Well...............you're wrong! We had our night and OMG what a night it was! I'm not going to go into details but let's just say he is learnin some stuff!

I don't know what happened but while having an orgasm I started crying. (hence the picture) It has happened once before (recently) and it scared him, me too for that matter. He thought he had done something wrong, and I was a little confused. Confused at what was going on inside, what I was feeling and thinking, and not exactly sure why it was happening. I wasn't sad or mad.....matter of fact I was feeling pretty damn good!!! But for me, it was Uncontrollable. I couldn't stop. The tears just came. Last night the same thing happened. It was a little different than before, this time not only was it uncontrollable but it was a heavy gasping cry. Like when a child has been crying for a while and they have that "catching their breath" cry. Does that even make sense?

Anyway, here I was feeling so damn good but yet I was crying. He just crawled up me and held me. He kept saying "it's ok baby, just take some deep breaths". He rocked me and rubbed my head and back until I calmed down. After I caught my breath and calmed down he asked me if I was ok. I told him I was fine. We fixed the bed, he kissed me and held me a little while longer until I fell asleep.

So here I am today....still a little confused. Now that I have had a little time to think about what I was feeling it makes a little (very little) more sense. The feelings were soooooo raw and sooooooo strong it's hard to describe. I think I just fell in love all over again! And maybe even a little deeper. Didn't know that was possible, D and I are extremely close and I didn't think we could even get any closer or feelings be any stronger. WOW was I wrong!!

Subrina <3