Mr. D surprised me with an AMAZING weekend. He planned this whole big thing, rented a room, went out to an awesome dinner, bought me a new outfit, head to toe. He even picked everything out by himself, right down to the shoes!!! This is sooooo unlike him....but I was sooo grateful and appreciated everything.
So we pack up for an overnight stay, say goodbye to the kids and off we go. Mr. D tells me that I can take a shower at the hotel, let's just go. We get to the room, I take a shower and he tells me that I need to be ready by 5:00, we have dinner reservations at 5:30. OK, no problem, it's 3:00!! I get out of the shower and he has laid out the outfit he bought me......OMG it was soooooo cute! So I start getting ready but Mr. D has other plans. He is fully dressed, but we start kissing and I'm getting excited...I'm thinking "Sweet, before dinner AND after? Wow he really is pulling out all the stops!" Well, he has other thoughts....he gets me all kinds of hot and then.....nothing. He stops what he's doing and says come on we need to go. WHOA, what? That's it? But what about.....Can I just tell you.....I couldn't eat dinner fast enough!!! HAHA
Mr. D and I are really very simple people and live very simple lives. We don't spend a lot of money on extravagant things. He found this restaurant/saloon called The Ranch. He knows how much I love country music and thought this place would be perfect, sounded country-ish. We go to the Ranch, walk in and wanted to walk right back out. This place was so elegant, uppity and expensive! YIKES! I totally felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman...when he takes her to that restaurant and she tries escargot and it goes flying and the waiter catches it.....slippery lil suckers! LOL That's how I felt, and Mr. D was even less comfortable. So we decided to get one meal and share it (it was a really big steak), drank water and the bill was $120!!! WTF? Who spends that much on a dinner for two?? I know there are some that that's not a big deal...but to us that was a HUGE deal. We felt so out of place and uncomfortable....but we decided to enjoy the night and our time together. And we did!
We went back to the room and decided to walk around the city. We didn't get very far...I think we both felt the "need" to get back to the room and it wasn't for sleeping! We had so much fun just being with each other with no interruptions. Just us! He was in full Mr. D mode and I was lovin it! I am really liking when he is all Dom like! HAHA He's learning!
Monday and Tuesday roll around and things were just not clicking with us. I'm not sure what's going on...but I'm just not really feeling the whole sub thing. Not that I'm knee deep in it, it's still pretty new and we are still trying to figure out our roles, but I don't know! Maybe it's something in the air...I have been reading a few blogs and they are saying the same thing.
Here are some situations that I wasn't feeling very submissive.....
I drive for a living so I can't always be on the phone. But I make as much time as possible to talk to him while he's on his breaks. Monday was crazy and I was really busy, so I didn't have time to talk to him. I text him and told him this. He calls me on his break....
Mr. D "Hey baby"
Me (maybe with a hint of attitude) "I'm driving, I text you and told you I can't talk on the phone"
Mr. D "I know, but you have said that before and you were able to talk. I thought maybe I would catch you in between and you could talk"
Me "I'm driving I'll call you later if I can"
Mr. D "whatever" and hangs up
We have been having problems with our youngest and his grades. Mr. D and I talked about it and decided that we are a team and going to face this both being on the same page. He was going to do the talking and handing down the punishment and I was going to be his wingman. We call our son in our room and Mr. D says a few things and then I added to it. Well I just kept adding and adding and couldn't stop. It was like the conversation that me and Mr. D had never happened. I did almost all the talking and handed him his punishment. We just kind of fell back into pre D/s and I was in control. It was kind of like auto pilot. Mr. D never said anything, he just let me do my thing (like he always has done in the past).
So our son leaves the room.....
Mr. D "You didn't even let me talk, you just kept talking and talking."
Me (maybe with a hint of attitude) "well you lagged it and should have stepped up sooner and started talking"
Mr. D "Whatever" and leaves the room.
Me thinking well that's how it usually happens, no surprise there!
A little while later I was on the computer answering an email. My fingers were typing away and he's talking to me. I'm just kind of half ass answering him, a couple of nods and a few grunts.
Mr. D "I'm talking to you, why don't you answer me?"
Me "ok wait" continues typing
He continues to talk to me and ask questions. I'm still typing!
Me (maybe with a hint of attitude and raised voice) "You don't see me on the computer and my fingers moving? Hold on!"
Mr. D "You can't talk to me while you do that? I asked you a question"
Me (maybe with a lil more than a hint of attitude)"Seriously? Can you text and talk? Can you read and talk? No, I don't think so!"
Mr. D gives me a look and says "you need to change your attitude"
I just look at him, as if to say, or what? He just shakes his head and leaves the room.
Later we are laying in bed and he asks what my problem is. I tell him nothing. He asks why am I acting so bratty and why wouldn't I talk to him today at work. Again, I tried to explain to him that I was driving. So now he's butt hurt and I'm mad cuz he's butt hurt. He asks me again what my problem is and again
Me "nothing! I think I'm getting ready to start"
Mr. D "that's no reason to be so bratty"
Me "yes it is, you know how I get when I'm getting ready to start"
*I'm a bitch for the first 3-4 days before Aunt Flo graces us with her presence*
Me "I think I should get a Bitch Pass"
Mr. D *kind of chuckles, but not really* "no bitch passes, you just need to stop acting like that"
Me *HUH! arms crossed and a pissed off look on my face*
Mr. D (a lil more stern voice) "Seriously Surbina, you need to stop" and he leaves the room
Me thinking Yeah, whatever, and if I don't?? Just what I thought, Nothing!
Then he comes back in the room all Dom like
Mr. D "OK, I have had enough, give me your laptop, no internet tonight"
Me "WTH? You can't do that. You can't just come in here AFTER the fact and say that. We don't even have rules/consequences set"
Mr. D "I don't care, you need to stop being so bratty" and he takes my laptop
Me "WTH you can't do that, you should have done that yesterday, not after the fact"
Mr. D *takes my laptop and leaves the room*
About 5 mins later he comes back in and hands me my laptop and walks out. I just grinned and went back on the computer!
So, I think I am/was mad for a few different reasons..........
1. Frustrated with my son and his lack of effort
2. Frustrated with Mr. D and his lack of Dominance
3. Frustrated with my lack of submission
4. Aunt Flo making her appearance (she's not even here yet UGH)
Should I get a "bitch pass"? Probably not. Am I entitled to a "bitch pass" cuz of Aunt Flo? Probably not. I really wanted him to put a stop to my bitchiness, not allow me to speak to him the way I did. I know I shouldn't have acted like that and should have stopped myself but I don't know. Isn't that part of D/s? How many of you (subs) would have gotten away with that? How many of you (Doms) would have allowed that? I know I wasn't right for acting like that, and I did realize it the next day....but dammit he shouldn't have let it get so out of hand....and he shouldn't have given into me. I want him to be more assertive, aggressive, controlling, Dominant!
I guess we both have a lot to learn. It would be so much easier to just go back to the way it was. But if we did that, would I really be happy? Probably not!