Horrible Place

I don't know what's going on. I feel so out of sorts. I'm irritated. I'm frustrated. I'm mad. I'm bitchy, moody, bratty, just aaaaaahhhhhhhhh UGH! I feel a disconnect with him.

All of these feelings and no explanation. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. We did get into an argument, but nothing to cause all of this.

As much as being dominant is new to him, being submissive is very new to me. I was raised with the idea that you didn't let a man tell you what to do or wait on them or do things for them. My single mom was all about womens rights, equality, blah blah blah. On top of that I have a pretty dominant personality.

My hubby has always let me lead. He has always let me step up to the front. He has always let me take care of things, let me be the mouth piece. Not that he didn't do anything, but he just followed my lead. Now I want him to be the leader and me to follow. hhhmmmm

Am I setting us up for failure?

Is being submissive something that I am even capable of doing?

My poor hubby has been trying to be dominant. Every time he tries I either laugh or absolutely just refuse whatever it is he is asking.

I laugh because it's so out of the norm. He has never acted like that and it just sounds funny when he is trying to be stern or strict with me. I also think it's because I don't trust him. I don't trust that he means it. I don't trust that what he is saying is what he really means. I don't trust that there will be any follow through.

When he tries to be dominant and I refuse....he gets frustrated with me. DUH I totally understand why! But it just seems so foreign to me to go with it. And then he will just kind of give up because he is so frustrated.

"Why do you always throw up your hands and say 'fuck it' when you don't know what to do?"

"Why can't you just be submissive? Why can't you just do what I ask? You asked for this and yet you fight me at every turn. Are you sure this is what you want?"


HHHHMMMMMM  Good question!

"I don't know why I fight you. Yea, I think this is what I want."

I really don't know why! I mean, he's right, I did ask for this. I do want him to be HOHy and Dominant....then why can't I be submissive? WTF? UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH

I feel that if he was more dominant then it would be easier to be more submissive. But then I think, well if I'm more submissive he will be more dominant. WOW....like a damn dog chasing it's tail! Stupid!

DAMMIT I want him to take charge. I want him to be the boss. I want him to stand up to me. I want him to not baby me. I want him stick to his guns. I want him to be consistent. I want him to follow through with things.

Maybe my problem is ME! Maybe I'm irritated, frustrated and mad at myself. Maybe I'm realizing that this just might not work. Maybe this just isn't something I am capable of. Maybe that's where all of these feelings are coming from.

I am looking to him to get me out of this. I am looking to him to help me figure this out. I am looking at him to grab me and say we are going to figure this out NOW! I am looking to him to lead.

I am putting everything off on him huh? :/  Not very submissive huh? :/

So where the hell do I go from here? How do I get outta of this horrible place? How do I work on submission when I'm not even sure I can do it.

Why do I want this? Because all of the books make it sound so exciting and thrilling and perfect?

KNOCK KNOCK

Who is it?

Reality! Stop acting like a fool!

Did you ever feel like you couldn't be submissive? Did you ever feel like...what am I doing?

Subrina <3





Dominic,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've been such a bitch lately. I'm sorry for the way I have been acting and the way I have been treating you. You are so good to me and treat me like a princess and I'm so grateful. I love you!

And That's When The Fight Started

I have been reading a few blogs lately and it seems there are a lot of us fighting with our HOH's. Well, you're not alone. Here are a few ways that other people have started a fight......


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he say alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed.
"He's my old boyfriend, I understand he took up drinking right after we split up so many years ago, and I hea he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And that's when the fight started......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer....Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I could her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently
for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

And that's when the fight started......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

And that's when the fight started......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife'sback; now with a different anticipation.
I whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's when the fight started......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for out upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 1 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a scale!

And that's when the fight started......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. the woman behind the counter asked for my driver license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt."

So I opend my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me"
Then she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Cocial Security office.

She said, "You should have dropped you pants, You might have gotten disability too."

OMG....I laughed soooooo hard (no pun intended) reading this one!!! LMAO!!

And that's when the fight started......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible, I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And that's when the fight started......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a really bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF! He looked up at me and said,

"I am NOT happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

And that's when the fight started......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's when the fight started......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope that I was able to put a smile on your face. Enjoy your weekend! Hopefully you (or DH) won't start a fight!!

Subrina <3

Lost Hope?

Dominic and I kind of got into a argument discussion today about money. Things never go well when we discuss money. First of all we don't have enough of it! lol And second, well we just don't have enough of it!

I was questioning him about some money that was spent. I didn't understand where it all went, so I was asking him about it. He really didn't have an answer for me, so I kind of got a little upset and maybe raised my voice. Yea I know....not smart!

I was driving home from work and he called me, asked me where I was. He said that I had an attitude earlier today when we talked. So when we got home we would be discussing my attitude. Kind of excited!

OK, talk about what? I didn't have an attitude. I was just asking what happened.

Well, the conversation started out alright. But he didn't like that I was still questioning him, and I guess I still had my attitude. I just wanted to know what the hell happened.

Anyway, we got it figured out. But not without some looks, head shaking and complete frustration. And this was all him!!!!!! UGH Not very Dom/Sir like

Well, I don't know why but I still had my attitude.

"I can't do this if this is the way it's going to be. I don't want to have to fight you about money. And you just keep fighting, you won't let it go."

"I just wanted an answer. I didn't understand and wanted you to explain it to me. But all you could say was I don't know. That's not what I wanted to hear"

He just sat there with a pissed off look on his face and shaking his head.

Well unfortunately my attitude got a little out of control. I said in a calm voice....

"Well, I'm waiting for you to do what you always do and throw up your hands, say fuck it and walk out of the room"

He just looked at me.

"I don't want to fight with you, especially about finances"

Then we we're interrupted by our youngest and the conversation stopped. They both got dressed and left for practice. Now here I am, sitting here and disappointed.

I know I shouldn't have acted like that, and I probably shouldn't have questioned him about the money (really it wasn't that much money)....but I fully expected him to take more control. I expected him to not allow me to be so bratty and put a stop to it or at least say something. To be honest, I was expecting him to say something earlier today when we spoke. But nothing!

Is this really that hard? I mean, I know I need to make changes, just as I'm asking him to change. But man, it's so easy to fall back into past practice. I wasn't getting the answer I wanted, I got mad and feel right back into the past. UGH While we we're talking I was thinking I should really shut my mouth. I should really just shut up and let it go, stop being so bratty. But when he didn't say anything or put a stop to it....I just kept going. Will I ever be able to do this?

I get that this is new.....I get that he's trying to find his groove and doesn't know exactly how to act when I act like a damn brat. But come on! I fully expected him to stand up to me and he doesn't. I get so frustrated when he lets me act like that.

I know I need to change too. I know that I shouldn't be acting like that towards him. But when I get upset or mad and I do act like that.....DOM UP!

Dom up and tell me to stop it. Tell me that you are not going to allow me to talk to you that way. Don't put up with my shit. Don't be afraid to be stern with me, don't be afraid to hurt my feelings.


***UPDATE***
He called from practice and asked if I was ok. I said the typical female answer "yea, I'm fine!" He knows me too well and knew there was something wrong.

He said that he was sorry and was disappointed in himself. I asked him why.

"When you act like that I still don't know how to react. Well, I do know what I should say or do but it just feels so weird. It feels strange for me to discipline you or to tell you NOT to do something. The blog you sent me (Rodger's Thoughts) really helped but I'm still not sure exactly what to say or do when you are like that."

"I'm sorry that I acted like that. It's so easy to fall back into past practice. I get that, but when you don't do anything I feel like we're just spinning our wheels. I'm disappointed too."

"We will talk more when I get home from practice."

Subrina <3

To Spank or Not To Spank

Hubby and I have been practicing TTWD or D/s for about 7 months. It has been a slooooooooow process but we are making progress. When I first brought this to Dominic he didn't hesitate. He jumped on board and said yea sure, whatever you want, I'll do it! YAY

We have spent a lot of time talking about things we like, things we don't like, things we want to try and things that we will never try. It has been very interesting and we both (I think) have learned a lot about each other.

I would tell him about blogs that I read and how the couples handle certain situations. I would tell him that so and so did this and she got a spanking for it.

"We are never going to do that. You are my wife, not my child!"

"Yeah, I'm not into that either!"

 

"But we're still going to do it when we have sex."

"Oh yea, I like it when you do that!!!"

So the other day we we're talking and he says

"Ya know, I've been thinking I want to try spanking, how do you feel about that?"

"What do you mean? You know I like it when you spank me!"

"No, I mean for punishment"

"Huh?" WTH???? Is he serious?

"Well? How do you feel about that?"

"Ummmm well, I don't know, how much say so do I have in this? I mean it's my ass....so I'm thinking no!"

HAHAHAHA "Well, I think we're going to try it"


Later that night we we're laying in bed watching TV and his back was itching. He asks me to scratch his back, so being the good submissive wife that I am, I did it. We went back to watching TV and he asked again.

I guess I wasn't itching it good enough 

I told him that's what the back scratcher is for, it will scratch it better than I can. He just kinda gives me a look and then

Oh Shit!

He gets up and takes it off the hook and examines it. I mean really examines it. He hits it against his hand and has this......ummmm....well......I guess you would say a twinkle in his eye.

I just look at him and shake my head. Like that was gonna work

"Come here, bend over the bed"

He can't be serious, we haven't even discussed spanking. I thought we we're never going to do this.

"I said come here" why is it he gets an implement in his hand and all of a sudden he knows how to be the HOH???

Well, being the good little sub I am, I go to his side of the bed and reluctantly bend over the bed. I am so nervous and kind of excited but I am laughing like a silly school girl. I'm not sure why because I knew it was going to hurt.

And then

OUCH!

 

 

OK we are definitely NOT doing that!

I'm jumping up and down , rubbing my ass and it stings like hell. But for some strange reason I am still laughing.

He is just looking at me, not really understanding.

"Well?"

"OW hun, that hurts" rubbing my ass and pouting

"So what do you think, I think we are going to try this"

"OK if that's what you want to do, but can I ask one thing?"

"Sure baby, anything"

"Can you do some research and make sure you know who to spank?"

"What do you mean, you break a rule, bend over and I smack your ass!"

"WHAT? No I'm serious. You can't just go spanking all willy nilly"

HAHAHAHA "OK baby, I will check it out....but we are doing this!"

So here we are! Looks like I'm going to be the best damn submissive this side of the Mississippi!!

Oh and if any of you have any advice or suggestions for me....please let me know! I'm probably going to need all the help I can get, he enjoyed that way to much! I have a feeling there are a lot more rules in my future.

Watch what you wish for.....cause you just might get it!

Subrina <3

TTWD Etiquette

I have been thinking about this for a while and I'm not really sure what the answer is.

Where is the best place to ask these questions?

Where do I go for answers?

Yup, you guessed it!

To you, blogland!

First let me say that I truly appreciate all of you bloggers, Sirs and subs! I have learned so much about something I knew so little. This place and all of you absolutely amaze me. I feel I can be more open and honest with all of you than I am with friends in my life. Of course I am somewhat hiding behind a keyboard but whatever! Here you are not judged for things you like or don't like. Everyone seems to accept your lifestyle, no matter how kinky, and are also willing to give some really good advice.

Having said that, I have been wondering about something......TTWD or D/s etiquette.

Is there D/s etiquette? Is there a certain way you should address certain people?

When you are commenting on a Dom's post, do you call him Sir? He's not my Sir, so is it rude or disrespectful to call him that? Or is it rude or disrespectful to NOT call him Sir?

What if he is a Master? Do you call him Master?

Or do you call him Mr. *insert name*?  If it's known.

When you are commenting to a sub and her Sir has commented, do you ask him to comment to her?

For those of you that go to the clubs....I'm sure there is a certain protocol that is expected?

Subrina <3

I'm A Big Girl

This weekend we have been so busy with life. Our 12 year old had a tournament, my step daughter had a baby shower and my middle one had a parent preview night for his high school band.

We are very supportive when it comes to our kids extra curricular activities. We try and go to everything. This weekend was no exception.

Our sons first two games were on Saturday afternoon. It just so happened the baby shower was about the same time. Both of them were in the same direction. The games being about 40 mins away and the shower about 50 mins away. I was NOT looking forward to going to the shower. I didn't feel to comfortable sitting in my husbands ex's house with her family. But, I agreed to go for his daughter and him too. I really wanted to get out of it, but there was no way.

Our sons coach called on Friday and said we had to games tomorrow. Well, that means that I won't be able to go to the shower because I need to take my son to his game. Awww man, sooo bummed! So hubby is trying to be the HOH and said that someone could take him and we would just meet him there, so I can go to the shower. UGH I really really didn't want this to happen. But I am trying to be a submissive wife and go with his decisions.

We talked about it and he decided that I would go to the game and he would go to the shower with his mom. He would leave the shower early so he could make the second game. I really liked this idea, so I went with it!! Who am I to argue....that is no way for a submissive wife to act!

Hubby packed the car with the cooler, chairs, umbrella, baseball gear and anything else he could think of that I would need. Normally he takes care of all of this stuff. So we're getting ready to leave and he's explaining to me how to put the cooler on the cart and then the chair, the umbrella, tie it on with the bungee cords etc.

I'm thinking OK OK how hard can this be, I can do this, what's the big deal.

My son and I set off to the games. I'm really missing hubby and wish he was with us. But he has other obligations. We get to the field, it's 95 degrees and the humidity is about 90%.

We live in SO CAL dammit!!! UGH

I start getting everything out of the car. I do just as my hubby says, get the cart out, put the cooler on it, get the chair, the umbrella.....yeah yeah yeah I can do this! Pssshhh

My son says "Mom, are you sure you're gonna be able to handle this?"

"Sure, what's the big deal. I got this son!"

We're off to the field, I've got everything that we need, I'm pulling the cart through this rough terrain. I'm trying to be very careful because I know I don't have everything strapped onto the cart very well, not like hubby would have done it. We get about half way there and it happens!

Yup, you guessed it!

I dumped the cart!

I look at it tipped over, the cooler fell on it's side and opened, dumped everything out of it onto the gravel. I stand there staring at it thinking what just happened. I pick up everything and put it back in the cooler. Everything is dirty, I wasn't able to pick up the ice and I'm embarrassed!

We get to the field and now I have to set up my little area. I'm not feeling to confident right about now, especially after my mishap just a few mins ago.

I set up my chair, the cooler is in front of me and I have to attach the umbrella to my chair. It's not just any old umbrella, no it's a beach umbrella, pretty good size. Oh and did I mention it was windy!

I open the umbrella, get the velcro straps and bungee cords and get started. I got the pole attached to my chair but as soon as I opened the umbrella a big gust of wind comes up and flips it right out of my hands.

Dammit!

I finally get the umbrella opened and on the pole that is attached to my chair. I step back and take a look, I'm so proud! I did this all by myself!! So I do what any proud big girl would do....I take a pic and send it to hubby!

YAY me!!!!

There are probably a lot of you out there that are reading this and thinking what is the big deal. So you went to your kids game, had to unload the car and set up your own stuff by yourself....AND???
Well for me it WAS a big deal. Hubby spoils me beyond belief. He does everything for me. And this little trip to my sons game, by myself, just proved to me how much he really does for me. It makes me appreciate my hubby soooo much more. I am always telling him that I totally got the better end of the deal, and I truly did!

Thank you hubby for all you do for me. I truly appreciate you! I couldn't have asked for anyone better. Thank you for picking me, I love you!


Subrina <3

Realizing And Remembering

This is kind of a rambling post. I have a few things going on in my head and not sure how to deal with them. As a lot of you will probably agree....blogging really helps you work out the mess in your head! If you click exit I will totally understand. Sometimes I wish I could click exit! LOL

So, you're still here....well thank you for sticking around to hear read my bitch-fest! Grab some coffee and have a seat!

I have this texting rule, I am supposed to text him everyday at 11:30. Well this past weekend we got new phones....my old phone had an alarm set to remind me to text him at 11:30. I still am not familiar with this new stupid phone and hadn't figured out how to set the alarm. So need less to say I didn't text him on Monday.

Monday night we were laying in bed talking and I decided to tell him about the non text. Isn't that what any good sub would do?? I told him that I'm snitching myself off but I'm sorry I forgot to text you today. He says oh yeah...you didn't, did you?

What??? He didn't even realize that I didn't??? UGH

OK, so now I'm kinda mad because he didn't realize the non text and here I am telling on myself. Now I'm thinking what is the point of the rule if he's not even going to notice if I don't do it?

Yesterday the same thing happened. I still hadn't set my alarm and again I forgot to text him. I got busy at work and just didn't remember. Again, he doesn't realize or he just forgot too.

He was also upset with me because I guess I had a bratty attitude. I didn't think I did......ok well maybe I did. I did get a couple of warnings.....but that was it!

I guess I said something that pissed him off and he said a few things with a raised voice and walked out.

I'm not mad..... I'm more disappointed. I'm disappointed that he didn't realize the non texts. I'm disappointed that he accepted my bratty attitude AND he somewhat yelled and walked out.

About 15 mins later he came back into our room and laid down on the bed and told me to come lay with him. I really didn't want to but I did it anyway. He said that he was sorry and that I was right. He also said he was sorry for walking out but he still doesn't know how to handle me when I'm bratty. He says he's not sure how to react or what to do when I'm being disrespectful and mouthy. So we go back to the old ways. :/

But, I get it. I get that this is still pretty new for us and we are both still learning. We are both still trying to figure out our roles.

I talked to him today on his break and he informs me that I didn't text him yesterday either. AND that I had a bratty attitude with him yesterday.

Oh crap! But....so what! So what if I didn't text him? And? What's going to happen? He's just NOW realizing it....the next day? Whatever!

 He said that we will discuss it when we get home from work. I told him that he can't just come up with things after the fact. He needs to deal with stuff when it happens, not when he finally realizes or remembers. He told me to quit trying to talk him out of it, drop it. So I did!

11:30 rolls around and I sent him his text! I figured out how to set the damn alarm....WHEW!

When we get home from work I am totally expecting him to bring up the last couple of days. I'm kind of excited but also a little nervous. Excited to see how he is going to handle this....nervous to see how he is going to handle this!! LOL

But of course he doesn't. Nothing is said about the non text or my bratty attitude. Nothing!

I just read a blog today and she was wondering if  "is there a HOH club out there where they trade secrets?" Well I can tell you my hubby isn't in that club! But if there is, where can I register him??? LOL

Sometimes I feel I overwhelm him and expect way to much. But how long can you say "this is all still new" before it's not new anymore?

Subrina <3

Dopamine Rush

I've been thinking about this for a while. Is there something wrong with me?

Last weekend hubby and I had a long talk about D/s, sex, things we like, things we don't like, things we fantasize about etc. We learned a lot about each other in this talk. It still amazes me how much I still learn about him, even after 19 years!! One of the things I told him was I wanted him to call me a whore or slut (in the bedroom!!)

 

 

"Really?"

"Yea, I like it."

He was a little surprised especially because I hate the word "bitch". I can't handle him calling me that. Strange HUH? I was really embarrassed to tell him and thought he would think differently of me. But he was so amazing. He just listened and seem to accept everything I was saying. He didn't judge me or think I was crazy. He just kinda rolled with it!

Later that night we we're having sex and, yup, you guessed it.... he said it!!!!!!

"You like it, don't you whore?" "You're MY whore!"

I don't know why, but I think it's so hot to hear him call me that. Especially when he gets this low growl and says it....OH EM GEE!!!!

This was the first time he had ever said anything like that, and I wasn't sure he could or would actually do it. My hubby treats me like an absolute princess and for him to call me something like this goes against everything he believes. But, he said it with such confidence and like he had been saying it all along. I got a small smile on my face and was so happy that he listened to me.

Now I'm wondering why I like it? What is the turn on? Why would someone like to be called a whore or slut? Why would you want someone that loves and adores you to call you those names? The definition itself says it's derogatory, so what is the attraction?

WHORE

hôr

noun

derogatory

noun: whore; plural noun: whores

1. 1.

   a prostitute

Those names are for people that sleep around with a bunch of different people. People that get paid for sex. Those names go against everything society tells us is right. So why do I want to be called a whore or slut? Why do I HATE the word "bitch"?

I don't know the answer!

 

Why do we like the things we like?

We just do!

 

Why do I like country music?

I just do!

 

Why do I like spicy food?

I just do!

 

Why do I like baseball?

I just do!

 

Why do I like Channing Tatum?

Well, DUH, cuz he's just freakin HOT!!

 

I found a simple answer to my question.....why do we like what we like?

 

But now, science is starting to answer this age-old question. Neuroscientists are using advanced scanning machines to look inside the living human brain and figure out why we like what we like.

And what they're discovering is astounding!

It turns out, the parts of our brains that give us a good feeling when we experience beauty are the same parts that are responsible for the drive to survive. Here's how it works. Each of us has a set of structures in our subconscious brain called the reward system. It has evolved over time to help us spot those people, places and things that could help us survive. The reward system signals the presence of survival advantages by producing the feel-good chemical, dopamine, the effect of which our consciousness interprets as, "Hey, there's someone (or something) I like!" We get the delicious sensation that our human needs are being met and we pursue whomever or whatever triggered the dopamine rush.

If you want to read the entire article click the link..........
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/darby-roach/why-we-like-what-we-like_b_691584.html

So, from reading this article I'm understanding that country music, spicy food, baseball and Channing Tatum are delicious sensations that meet my needs and give me a dopamine rush! I NEED them to survive!

I now have the answer, him calling me a whore or slut gives me a dopamine rush!

Subrina <3

It's TTWD's Fault

Every day hubby calls me on his first lunch break. We talk for a few minutes, he tells me what he wants me to get done for the day, we say "I love you's" and hang up. It's not always easy to talk because of the reception and he gets frustrated. I'm constantly moving around trying to find a spot where we have a good connection.

This happens every day, without fail. Today was no exception!

Today when he called I was in the bathroom!! *blushing*   When mother nature calls you have to answer!!!!!

When he calls you need to answer, right? Being the good little sub that I am, that's exactly what I did!

He asked what I was doing and I was honest with him.....I told him I was in the bathroom. We talked for a few minutes, he asked me to get some things done today, but the connection was horrible. I couldn't move to a different spot, after all I was a little busy. As the conversation went on he got more and more frustrated, as did I. We both kept saying "can you hear me? can you hear me now?"

On a side note.......I really hate that commercial! OK where was I................

And then it happened.

"Then take your lazy ass outside"

 

Huh? What? Did he really just say that? He knows I'm in the bathroom. Is that what he really thinks?

I didn't say anything to him. I kept listening to what he was saying and then we said goodbye. As soon as I hung up the tears started to fall. I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop them. It wasn't a heavy cry or a sobbing cry. Just tears falling down my face.

I was a little shocked! Not necessarily at what he said, but how I was reacting. Why did this hurt my feelings so much? Why am I crying? I'm sure he's said this in the past. I'm sure he's said things that would hurt my feelings before. So why this time? Why are there tears falling? I know he didn't say it to intentionally hurt my feelings, he probably doesn't even know that it hurt my feelings.

After thinking about it for a while and trying to process what just happened I have come to the conclusion it's TTWD fault!

I'm embarrassed to say that before TTWD we really had no filter when we would speak to each other. We would call each other names and were just disrespectful. We would talk to each other anyway we wanted, say whatever came to mind and not caring realizing how it would affect the other. Not to say that we didn't love each other, but it was just a different kind of love. I don't think we really thought about the other persons feelings much.

Enter TTWD and things have definitely changed. Although we haven't been doing this for very long, we are more connected, we are more in tune with each other, we definitely have more respect for each other. We are more caring and loving towards each other and most importantly we communicate so much better than before.

So after writing and processing what happened, I think I know exactly why it hurt my feelings. We don't speak to each other like that anymore. I know I have to tell him that it hurt my feelings and I will. If you read my blog you will know that one of my rules is to text him everyday at 11:30.....guess what the topic is going to be??? (He also reads my blog!!)



*While I was writing this post, he called me back and asked if I could hear him. I told him that I could and he said good. He then went on to tell me when he called me the first time he was on the hands free in the car and that's probably why he couldn't hear me!!!!! OMG are you kidding me????? So maybe it was YOU and not me??? UGH!!!!

Subrina <3


*~*~*~*~UPDATE*~*~*~*~*~
I sent him the 11:30 text, I tried to explain to him what I was feeling and how he hurt my feelings but I just couldn't. So I directed him here! He called me at his second lunch, like he always does, and said how sorry he was, he didn't mean to hurt my feelings and didn't even realize he said that. He apologized and apologized....I told him it was ok but I was glad that he knew it hurt me. So all is right in the world again! Oh and what's the best part about fighting...............

that's right...........



MAKE UP SEX!!!!!!!! YAY

This Is Us

I found this on someone else's blog and thought it would be fun for Dominic and I to do it. He is never on my blog but he does read everything on it! Just a fun Q&A to get to know us a little better! As you will see, Dominic is right to the point and doesn't elaborate to much on his answers! I wonder if that's just a male thing.....hmmmmm

 

1)   Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? 

       Me: open
       Sir: open

2)   Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
       Me:  yea, why not! You can use them when you run out of shampoo
       Sir:  no

3)   Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
       Me: the foot part is tucked in
       Sir: no

4)   Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

       Me: no, but there are a few that I would like to steal!

       Sir:  no

5)   Who is your favorite Actor/Actress?
       Me: Well if you know me at all you would know that I am obsessed with Channing Tatum. As for the actress, that’s not so easy. How about Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon
       Sir: Actor-John Cusack and Denzel Washington/Actress – Eva Mendes

6)   Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
       Me: no, but I would love to be one of those people that go to the check out, give them my coupons and my bill is like $15 for $300 worth of groceries
      Sir: no, never

7)   Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
       Me: WTH, neither
       Sir: swarm of bees

8)   What is your favorite band/group?
        Me: P!NK and country music
        Sir: Social Distortion

9)   Do you always smile for pictures?
       Me: I take the pictures, I’m not in them!
       Sir:  no

10) What is your biggest pet peeve?
       Me: liars! I HATE liars, you can never trust anything they say
       Sir: bring late

11)  What size is your bed?
       Me: queen
       Sir:  queen

12)   Whats your least favorite movie?
        Me: any scary movies
        Sir: Sweet Home Alabama, Legally Blonde

13)   What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

         Me: ranch, sometimes bbq…but my favorite is Famous Daves Devil’s Spit!
         Sir: ranch and ketchup

14)   What is your favorite food?
         Me: anything mexican
          Sir: Fuji Burgers….they have the best avocado teriyaki bacon burger anywhere

15)   What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
         Me: Sweet Home Alabama, Legally Blonde, Summer Catch, Sandlot, Pretty Woman
         Sir: Bourne Identity

 16)   Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

          Me: no
          Sir: no

17)   Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
        Me: if I had the body and the price was right
        Sir: no

 18)   When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

          Me: Well not sure if this counts or not, but I put lil notes in Sir’s lunch box
          Sir: about 3 years ago

19)   Favorite kind of sandwich?

         Me: peanut butter and pickles ….it has to be kosher dill pickles and creamy peanut butter. Hey, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!
         Sir: turkey with mayo and cheese

20)   Best thing to eat for breakfast?

         Me: not a big breakfast fan but I would have to say a breakfast burrito
         Sir: eggs

21)   What is your usual bedtime?

         Me: 9:30 pm
         Sir: 10:00 pm

22)   Are you lazy?

        Me: some of the time

        Sir: yes

23)   Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

         Me: no

         Sir: yes, baseball express

 

24)   Do you sing in the car?

         Me: OMG…yes I do. I have a full blown concert in my car. I’m very animated!!!! Lol I think I am the best lip singer around!

         Sir: yes, when I’m by myself

25)   Do you sing in the shower?

         Me: no, but I do talk to myself in the shower

         Sir: no

26)   Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?  

         Me: Where ever they are having a sale! Also depends on what I’m looking for

         Sir: All three, but we don’t go to Kmart much

 

27)   Whats your favorite color?

        Me: Purple

        Sir: Black and gray

Hoper you enjoyed our little Q&A, we had fun doing it!

 

Dominic & Subrina <3