Saturday, September 21, 2013

And That's When The Fight Started

I have been reading a few blogs lately and it seems there are a lot of us fighting with our HOH's. Well, you're not alone. Here are a few ways that other people have started a fight......


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started.....

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he say alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed.
"He's my old boyfriend, I understand he took up drinking right after we split up so many years ago, and I hea he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And that's when the fight started......

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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer....Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I could her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently
for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

And that's when the fight started......

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My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

And that's when the fight started......

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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife'sback; now with a different anticipation.
I whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's when the fight started......

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for out upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 1 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a scale!

And that's when the fight started......

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. the woman behind the counter asked for my driver license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt."

So I opend my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me"
Then she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Cocial Security office.

She said, "You should have dropped you pants, You might have gotten disability too."

OMG....I laughed soooooo hard (no pun intended) reading this one!!! LMAO!!

And that's when the fight started......

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My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible, I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And that's when the fight started......

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I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a really bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF! He looked up at me and said,

"I am NOT happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

And that's when the fight started......

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One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's when the fight started......

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I hope that I was able to put a smile on your face. Enjoy your weekend! Hopefully you (or DH) won't start a fight!!

Subrina <3

3 comments:

  1. Haha. Loved this post. Thanks for the laugh!

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  2. :-) I think most arguments start out as misunderstandings!
    Thanks.
    DF

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  3. Thanks for the smiles. :-) Hugs, Terps

    ReplyDelete