Thursday, September 5, 2013

TTWD Etiquette

I have been thinking about this for a while and I'm not really sure what the answer is.

Where is the best place to ask these questions?

Where do I go for answers?

Yup, you guessed it!

To you, blogland!

First let me say that I truly appreciate all of you bloggers, Sirs and subs! I have learned so much about something I knew so little. This place and all of you absolutely amaze me. I feel I can be more open and honest with all of you than I am with friends in my life. Of course I am somewhat hiding behind a keyboard but whatever! Here you are not judged for things you like or don't like. Everyone seems to accept your lifestyle, no matter how kinky, and are also willing to give some really good advice.

Having said that, I have been wondering about something......TTWD or D/s etiquette.

Is there D/s etiquette? Is there a certain way you should address certain people?

When you are commenting on a Dom's post, do you call him Sir? He's not my Sir, so is it rude or disrespectful to call him that? Or is it rude or disrespectful to NOT call him Sir?

What if he is a Master? Do you call him Master?

Or do you call him Mr. *insert name*?  If it's known.

When you are commenting to a sub and her Sir has commented, do you ask him to comment to her?

For those of you that go to the clubs....I'm sure there is a certain protocol that is expected?

Subrina <3


  1. i don't know the answer. i know i've read them somewhere though. i try not to call another Dom Sir, as my Dom is Sir. i may have slipped and done it, but really try hard not too. i think Mr. xxx is appropriate. i believe i've failed on this a few times because i type and hit publish before i think it all through. i need to watch become more aware of it though. thank you for the reminder.

    The question about a Dom commenting and how to proceed, good question.

    i'm eager to learn some answers as well.

    1. Hi HS!

      I think I have slipped a couple of times too. But I really try to respect everyone and just want to make sure I'm being polite!!!

      Subrina <3

  2. Hi Subrina,

    Great question! I'm not sure, but I normally use what the blogger uses. For example if they use Sir or Master I usually follow suit in my comment. However I usually, although not always, prefix it with "your" ... "Your Sir" or "Your Master". I tend to find a number of Dom's have a blog name as as well as their title (Sir, Master etc). Where this is the case I usually use the blog name. That applies to blogs and posts from both Dom's and subs.

    I have no idea if the above is right or wrong, but it's what I tend to do.


    1. Hi Roz!

      I pretty much do the same. If they call him Sir then I usually try and say Your Sir...but there are times I slip.

      Subrina <3

  3. Hi Subrina,
    I'm similar to Roz. I generally use what the blogger uses unless they simply refer to their Dom as Sir, in which case I often say 'your Sir' or 'your Master'. Some bloggers have a nickname or initial for their SO, this helps a little as it gives a sense of being a person and not just an honorific title. Respect will show in what you write and not judged by etiquette. After all Blogland is an virtual place, not a club with rules.

    1. Hi DF!

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting! I agree, respect will show in the commenting.

      Subrina <3

  4. I can only answer this based on my own feelings and experiences.

    When it comes to your own relationship, I would refer to your partner in whichever way *you* see him first in your mind's eye. If that is as lover, husband, partner, or even as his given or internet name, then those are the terms by which you should refer to him in blogs, discussions etc. If you envisage him as primarily your "Sir", your "Dom", or your "HoH", then talk about him that way. Since these things are only about your own relationship, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks you should call him.

    Having said that, I do understand why some people, while respecting your choices, are more comfortable with the more personal labels that define your loving intimate relationship with your partner, rather than those which, more impersonally, effectively define his "job" in your life.

    When it comes to 'public' etiquette in TTWD, I personally feel that I only owe 'titles' to people who have earned my respect in the roles that they claim. Over time, I have discovered that such people are not usually those insecure individuals who feel the need to loudly pronounce themselves "Dominant" and DEMAND the immediate respect of the address "Sir", but instead those who quietly exude the qualities of caring guidance and firmness that I associate with that role. In such cases, I sometimes find that the transition to calling them "Sir" comes quite naturally.

    The only exception I would give to this would be if I made the choice to enter a chat room, forum, or meeting place in which I knew there were set rules about forms of address before I entered that room.

    1. Hi DL!

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

      I loved your comment about a Dom demanding a title. Just because he calls him self a Dom doesn't make him a Dom. Actions speak louder than words, and that was never more true than in this lifestyle.

      Subrina <3