Wednesday, September 11, 2013

To Spank or Not To Spank

Hubby and I have been practicing TTWD or D/s for about 7 months. It has been a slooooooooow process but we are making progress. When I first brought this to Dominic he didn't hesitate. He jumped on board and said yea sure, whatever you want, I'll do it! YAY

We have spent a lot of time talking about things we like, things we don't like, things we want to try and things that we will never try. It has been very interesting and we both (I think) have learned a lot about each other.

I would tell him about blogs that I read and how the couples handle certain situations. I would tell him that so and so did this and she got a spanking for it.

"We are never going to do that. You are my wife, not my child!"

"Yeah, I'm not into that either!"

"But we're still going to do it when we have sex."

"Oh yea, I like it when you do that!!!"

So the other day we we're talking and he says

"Ya know, I've been thinking I want to try spanking, how do you feel about that?"

"What do you mean? You know I like it when you spank me!"

"No, I mean for punishment"

"Huh?" WTH???? Is he serious?

"Well? How do you feel about that?"

"Ummmm well, I don't know, how much say so do I have in this? I mean it's my I'm thinking no!"

HAHAHAHA "Well, I think we're going to try it"

Later that night we we're laying in bed watching TV and his back was itching. He asks me to scratch his back, so being the good submissive wife that I am, I did it. We went back to watching TV and he asked again.

I guess I wasn't itching it good enough 

I told him that's what the back scratcher is for, it will scratch it better than I can. He just kinda gives me a look and then
Oh Shit!

He gets up and takes it off the hook and examines it. I mean really examines it. He hits it against his hand and has this......ummmm....well......I guess you would say a twinkle in his eye.

I just look at him and shake my head. Like that was gonna work

"Come here, bend over the bed"

He can't be serious, we haven't even discussed spanking. I thought we we're never going to do this.

"I said come here" why is it he gets an implement in his hand and all of a sudden he knows how to be the HOH???

Well, being the good little sub I am, I go to his side of the bed and reluctantly bend over the bed. I am so nervous and kind of excited but I am laughing like a silly school girl. I'm not sure why because I knew it was going to hurt.

And then

OK we are definitely NOT doing that!

I'm jumping up and down , rubbing my ass and it stings like hell. But for some strange reason I am still laughing.

He is just looking at me, not really understanding.


"OW hun, that hurts" rubbing my ass and pouting

"So what do you think, I think we are going to try this"

"OK if that's what you want to do, but can I ask one thing?"

"Sure baby, anything"

"Can you do some research and make sure you know who to spank?"

"What do you mean, you break a rule, bend over and I smack your ass!"

"WHAT? No I'm serious. You can't just go spanking all willy nilly"

HAHAHAHA "OK baby, I will check it out....but we are doing this!"

So here we are! Looks like I'm going to be the best damn submissive this side of the Mississippi!!

Oh and if any of you have any advice or suggestions for me....please let me know! I'm probably going to need all the help I can get, he enjoyed that way to much! I have a feeling there are a lot more rules in my future.

Watch what you wish for.....cause you just might get it!

Subrina <3


  1. i have a love hate relationship with that twinkle in the eye. read this, it may help you with that advice.

    1. Hi HS!!!

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. And a BIG thank you for the link. I read it and then sent it to hubby!! Hopefully he will read it.

      Subrina <3

  2. haha...he DEF needs to look at some stuff ecspecially if you both haven't been open to it in the past. Z's first time spanking me was hilarious. I loathe scratching Z's back and he has me do it almost every night. Last year I put a back scratcher in his stocking and he didn't find it to humerous. :)

    1. Hi Ashley!

      Thanks for commenting. Yea, I told him he/we need to do more research before he goes swinging a back scratcher!!!

      LOL.......Did he "use" the gift?

      Subrina <3

  3. Hi Subrina,

    Oh my, sounds like things are changing in your house. We always had spanking in play but we were both nervous with the first couple of punishment spankings. It's a whole different ball game. We didn't incorporate any maintenance or role affirmation (as well call it) spankings until later on.


    1. Hi Roz!

      Yes, things they are a changin'! Yea, Im sure as with anything in this lifestyle its a slow process....and this is one time I wont mind at all!!!!

      Subrina <3

  4. Hi Subrina,
    Watch out! Once they get that twinkle in their eye, there's no turning back. Lol. But seriously, research it. I think on the LDD blog there is some great advice on how to give warm ups and all sorts of great advice.

    I remember our first couple of punishment spankings, I laughed most of the time, It hurt but it was awkward. Not anymore, they sure do get an act for this fast!

    1. Hi Kim!

      Thank you for telling me about the LDD site. There is a ton if info! I sent it to hubby....lets see what happens next.

      I have a feeling its gonna be awkward fir us picturing Bambi learning to walk!! lol

      Subrina <3

  5. I'm giggling like a little girl just reading this! You know I have no advice but I'm kind of excited for you. Is that weird that I'm excited for you? Lol

    1. Hi Misty!!

      LOL...why are you giggling??

      No its not weird....thank you for being excited for me.......lets just hope this works out in mt favor!! hahahaha

      Subrina <3

  6. Oh yes there will be more rules !!!! I'm finally starting to understand !!!!!! Be ready babe ! Love u

  7. I tend to disagree quite strongly with the concept that, if a spanking is done *right" (and what on earth is this supposed "right" anyway?) a woman "has to cry" when she is spanked for discipline, for the very simple and basic reason, that there are actually equally as many valid reasons why some woman *never* cry as there are reasons why others do.

    In my opinion only, crying has almost nothing to do with the physical, slow or fast starts, severity, length of spanking, physical pain, the use of implements, or any other kind of physical tactic, and everything to do with emotions and state of mind in any one moment.

    Physically, some people find that coping with pain makes them breathe differently and that, because of this they are literally unable to cry. Some women have been conditioned through most of their lives to believe that crying is an unwanted display of emotion which they should keep to themselves. Some are not quite ready to give up emotional control and will prevent themselves from crying in order to retain that last vestige of control. Some are used to being spanked erotically, or have been subjected to a level or frequency of "maintenance" that has made the spanking more familiar and therefore less 'different' and impactful.

    The only factor that can make any difference to these things is the state of mind of the receiver when the spanking is received. If *she* feels ready to cry of needs a release for her emotions, crying may be that release and it may require only a few light swats to bring her to this point. If she isn't in the right place emotionally, you could spank her with every implement under the sun until your arm falls of and the likelihood that she'll cry is still next to none.

    At the end of the day, this actually doesn't matter at all, since not every woman *needs* to cry in order to feel release, and it's not the case that it's automatically beneficial to everyone, because "everyone" is not the same.

    The only thing that matters is that, once the discipline is over, the feelings that are left overall are of a positive and not a negative nature. If you still feel resentful, unfairly treated, embarrassed, humiliated, or physically or emotionally hurt, then it's quite clearly not the thing for you as a couple. If you feel catharsis, peace, a sense of being cared for and/or a greater appreciation for and connection with your other half, then it's probably something that will work for you.

    Crying is okay if it happens; if it doesn't then that's fine too. It doesn't matter what you've read about the effect it has on anyone else, or what they say it is "supposed" to do; it only matters that it has the desired effect on *you*.