Wednesday, August 21, 2013

It's TTWD's Fault

Every day hubby calls me on his first lunch break. We talk for a few minutes, he tells me what he wants me to get done for the day, we say "I love you's" and hang up. It's not always easy to talk because of the reception and he gets frustrated. I'm constantly moving around trying to find a spot where we have a good connection.

This happens every day, without fail. Today was no exception!

Today when he called I was in the bathroom!! *blushing*   When mother nature calls you have to answer!!!!!

When he calls you need to answer, right? Being the good little sub that I am, that's exactly what I did!

He asked what I was doing and I was honest with him.....I told him I was in the bathroom. We talked for a few minutes, he asked me to get some things done today, but the connection was horrible. I couldn't move to a different spot, after all I was a little busy. As the conversation went on he got more and more frustrated, as did I. We both kept saying "can you hear me? can you hear me now?"

On a side note.......I really hate that commercial! OK where was I................

And then it happened.



"Then take your lazy ass outside"
 


Huh? What? Did he really just say that? He knows I'm in the bathroom. Is that what he really thinks?

I didn't say anything to him. I kept listening to what he was saying and then we said goodbye. As soon as I hung up the tears started to fall. I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop them. It wasn't a heavy cry or a sobbing cry. Just tears falling down my face.

I was a little shocked! Not necessarily at what he said, but how I was reacting. Why did this hurt my feelings so much? Why am I crying? I'm sure he's said this in the past. I'm sure he's said things that would hurt my feelings before. So why this time? Why are there tears falling? I know he didn't say it to intentionally hurt my feelings, he probably doesn't even know that it hurt my feelings.

After thinking about it for a while and trying to process what just happened I have come to the conclusion it's TTWD fault!

I'm embarrassed to say that before TTWD we really had no filter when we would speak to each other. We would call each other names and were just disrespectful. We would talk to each other anyway we wanted, say whatever came to mind and not caring realizing how it would affect the other. Not to say that we didn't love each other, but it was just a different kind of love. I don't think we really thought about the other persons feelings much.

Enter TTWD and things have definitely changed. Although we haven't been doing this for very long, we are more connected, we are more in tune with each other, we definitely have more respect for each other. We are more caring and loving towards each other and most importantly we communicate so much better than before.

So after writing and processing what happened, I think I know exactly why it hurt my feelings. We don't speak to each other like that anymore. I know I have to tell him that it hurt my feelings and I will. If you read my blog you will know that one of my rules is to text him everyday at 11:30.....guess what the topic is going to be??? (He also reads my blog!!)



*While I was writing this post, he called me back and asked if I could hear him. I told him that I could and he said good. He then went on to tell me when he called me the first time he was on the hands free in the car and that's probably why he couldn't hear me!!!!! OMG are you kidding me????? So maybe it was YOU and not me??? UGH!!!!

Subrina <3


*~*~*~*~UPDATE*~*~*~*~*~
I sent him the 11:30 text, I tried to explain to him what I was feeling and how he hurt my feelings but I just couldn't. So I directed him here! He called me at his second lunch, like he always does, and said how sorry he was, he didn't mean to hurt my feelings and didn't even realize he said that. He apologized and apologized....I told him it was ok but I was glad that he knew it hurt me. So all is right in the world again! Oh and what's the best part about fighting...............

that's right...........



MAKE UP SEX!!!!!!!! YAY

11 comments:

  1. As soon as I read "then take your lazy ass outside," the first thing I thought was, oh boy I would hang up on him! Now that I think about it, I don't know what I would do because I don't know what he would do. am I changing already?! Sorry he made you feel bad, I really hate those moments! Glad he called you back to tell you it might have been him!

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    1. Hi Misty!
      I know, when I heard it I was shocked! In the past I would have probably said "F**K You" and hung up. Things are different now!

      You probably are changing. It seems like once you have made up your mind that this is what you want to do, you look at life differently, at your relationship differently, it's a big change. I think for the women that approach their husbands with this, the change is more evident in us then it is them. I would imagine that you have been thinking about this for sometime, have had time to process and think about exactly what you want. He on the other hand has just heard about this and is trying to process and figure things out.

      I have learned a lot about us, myself and our relationship. I think the biggest things I have learned is communication and patience.

      Subrina <3

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    2. Funny you say that because just last night he told me that he is still processing things and it's going to take time; things aren't going to change overnight. I can't tell you how happy this makes me! Yay! I'm happy he is taking this seriously and I in no way, shape or form, want things to change overnight! That would be scary :)

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  2. It's amazing how words they/we don't even remember saying can hurt so deeply - and then not talking about it afterwards can only lead to more hurt and distance. Yes - ttwd does amazing things in that it gives us the tools & forces us to communicate what we would normally want to bury, hide from, or hold on to - and then there is healing and restoration; and that sweet deep relationship that we yearn for. I'm so happy for you here - and definitely yay for the make up sex!!

    :) Cali

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    1. Hi Cali,

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. TTWD always amazes me and what it brings out in us.

      Subrina <3

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  3. Hi Subrina,

    Im so sorry your feelings were hurt. It sounds from reading this as though you've done a good job of figuring out why you reacted the way you did. TTWD makes us feel so much more connected and we also just 'feel' more. Something that may have irritated us perhaps before, we react more strongly to.

    I'm so glad you showed him this post and that he apologised and the issue has been resolved.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz!

      TTWD amazes me every day. I wish we would have discovered this a lot earlier in our relationship. But I guess better late than never!!

      Subrina <3

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  4. I am going to have to agree with you on this one--it really is ttwd's fault. I am sooooo much more easily crushed by off comments than I ever was before. It's like that nice thick shell becomes completely useless against them after a while.
    On one hand, it kinda sucks. On the other hand, it's totally awesome...

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    1. Hi Lil,

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. That damn TTWD .....UGH! I absolutely feel much more vulnerable and exposed than I did before. I am way more sensitive to his comments and have this crazy desire to please him! And you couldn't be more right...it can suck but it can be so awesome too!

      Subrina <3

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  5. I love makeup sex! Almost makes up for the horrible-ness of fighting. :)

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    1. LOL Julia! I have to agree....At least something good comes out of it!!

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